I Tried, I Realised

I dragged myself outside for the first time in weeks and went for a bike ride to the local park. It was very pretty but I've got no interest in things really. I wanted to come home as soon as possible. It's because there's nobody to share the days with. The expat community all over the world comes and goes, and the Okazaki one that I used to know, has gone, too. Of course, new faces have taken the place of the old faces, but I'm not socialising this year because socialising costs money, and the year will only be worth it if I leave with a lot of money saved. Otherwise it will have been a very wasted year as I now realise that I could have filled this year with a lot of fun.
So I'm being rather strict with myself and have reached the conclusion that this year will be the year where I had zero social life beyond staring into a computer screen and teaching. And I'm okay with that. The important thing is to remain happy and I know it seems stupid but I'm happiest just being a homegirl, a blogger, a cooker, a worker Monday to Friday. When I leave the house, I feel lost. I think it's because I miss the high concentration of people who I met over the past two years; all the characters; all the parties; all the interesting conversations. And nothing compares to that over here. It's totally dull in my already been-here-done-it eyes. I have more energy sitting under the heated table, than I have when I get on my bike. So, facing facts, I am resigned to being a home girl. It is where I am happiest this year.

Read The Full Article:
http://ihaveaboat.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-tried-i-failed.html

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